#ClaireMusings: women in society

Since becoming a father of a little girl, I see the world very different.  I see what society is telling our daughters, and who they would like to mold them to be.  It's sickening.  Women/girls are hated by society, and we buy into it like it's an actual reality.

Women are strong.  Women are tough.  Women are equal to men.  Those are not the statements that we hear in our culture.  We typically hear that women are property or are less than men.  It's just really disgusting.  It happens in The Church even more than I think we realize, but then again aren't wives supposed to submit to their husbands?  I mean it's like the ladies can't get empowered or see their worth from anywhere. I was so proud of my Pastor that past weekend when he said, "Women and men are equal, God created them from one another."   That seems like it should be common knowledge, but it's not and that's why I am so proud of that statement.

We have a Presidential candidate that has said some repulsive things about women. I mean, has said the most misogynistic things, and is leading in the polls.  IS LEADING, by a HUGE MARGIN!  We start to believe when we follow blindly.

Today I was scrolling down my Instagram feed and saw this little gem:

This is a local high-priced boutique in Amarillo Texas.  It's usually associated with fashion brands, but today the store just didn't choose wisely.  Just what I want to get my daughter for Back To School; socks with self-proclaiming  character flaws. Having my daughter wear these like a banner, telling the world that she's a brat or trashy... is well trashy. 

You can look any number of places and see how devalued our society from every angle tells our girls how to look, how to dress, and how little worth they have.  It's up to us, dads included, to make sure we don't let the world tell our daughters who/why they are, but we must fight against the grain to ensure our daughters have a platform that will propel them to their individual excellentness.  

#ClaireMusings: Why I am not teaching my daughter "modest is hottest"

Ten months or so ago I became a father to a precious little girl. Her name is Claire Jewel, and she's been getting me to thinking a lot.  I have started to see the world in a very different way than I think I did before she was born.  It's just some of what churches and Christian based organizations are teaching girls seems to be quite flawed.  When I say the Church, I am not talking about any one church but Christian culture in America.

One of those things is teaching our daughters that "Modest is Hottest." Looking at that, it looks like a great statement, and that we should teach our daughters that being modest is appropriate, but that's not what this is saying. This is not the purpose of this "cute" little rhyme in my opinion.

We live in a very sexualized world.  Women and girls face a world where their worth is put into how "pretty" "beautiful" "sexy" the package is, and how they get what they want based on looks and appearance. We live in a culture that says if a women isn't pretty, by a photoshopped standard in the latest women's magazine or fashion brand's latest advertising,  then she isn't valuable, and even farther, she isn't worth our time.

See I believe that the teaching that modest is hottest came from a very genuinely good place.  I can see someone using the culture of the world to sell modesty to little girls who are exposed to what the world is doing to women through images of perfection.  I can see it's origins.  I can see a counter-culture trying to make sense of the current culture.

My beef with modest is hottest is that it's STILL sexualizing women!  It says, you still need to be hot, but modest at the same time. I believe that the teaching modesty is important, but based on teaching girls the VALUE of themselves.  I think my daughter is valuable because she is, not because of what she looks like.  When you say modest is hottest it's cheapening the worth of her, her intelligence, her abilities, and her as a human.

You shouldn't fight fire with fire.  You should use the current culture as an example but not in agreement.  My daughter is valuable, not because of what she looks like, but because she was created by a God full of love! We may not have control over how the world works or how it portrays women and girls, but we do have the ability to provide truth in the midst of chaos.  We have to teach our daughters from as early as possible to value themselves and to be examples; while addressing and exposing what's going on around them at the same time.

I choose to disagree not abandon.

Recently someone told me I was offended at my church.  I wouldn't normally let that bother me, but it hit a nerve.  I turned and said,  "Just because I disagree doesn't mean that I am offended."  Then I kind of did some examining of my heart.  I learned a lot about myself and why it ticked me off.

A little back story:
I go to a mega church, and while it's really popular to hate on them today, I certainly don't hate my church.  I see the great and the bad of such a behemoth.  Recently, I found myself  disagreeing with something the church is doing.  It's something small but enough for me to think I didn't want to participate. Yes, I see things that make me cringe but I am a church advocate.  I think it's extremely important.  As someone once put it, the local church is the hope of the world.  I agree.

I was talking with someone about it and they totally misunderstood what I was talking about.  They assumed that I was leaving the church.  Well, no.  Just because you disagree with something doesn't give you the right to leave.  That's how I would have known I was offended.  If I have let something so trivial affect me to leave.  Over the years I have not agreed with my church on occasion.  I think it's healthy to not follow blindly everything a church does/says/believes.  This doesn't mean I am in rebellion as someone once put it.  I can simply disagree without being in rebellion.  I still tithe, volunteer, and participate.

I believe that when you have crossed the line is when you let little offenses blow you off course and leave and go to another church, sit in the audience, and compare how much better you and your current church is.  I think when you get to the point where you would leave, you need to examine your heart.  Talk yourself off the ledge and realize it's probably best to talk to someone about this.  Barring, that is, if your church is doing something wrong.... like heresy, which probably happens but not as regular as people claim.

I have seen many people leave a church because.... well there are a lot of reasons.  When you boil it down, it's an offense.  The sad thing, when they get comfortable in their current church they'll just get offended and move to another.

In the end, I kind of like it when I disagree with my church.  At the end of the day, I either learn why I agree with my assessment or I mature.  Either way I win, and in the end the Body at large wins when we invest in our churches.  Abandoning the ship shows our immaturity.

Churches aren't perfect.  To think they are is to fool one's self.

The problem with Rosie...

Okay, so Rosie has been quite of a figure on her latest gig on "The View." I have never seen the show, nor do I think it sounds appealing. I have however seen clips in the media, and on youtube. I don't have a problem with the things she says, because she has a perfectly good right to say as she chooses; she, after all has the right to in the 1st Amendment in the constitution. I think she is a large figure in the media, and that wasn't a slam, I have no interest in doing that. She has taken a lot of heat over some of her comments. I think it is interesting she doesn't think with a large mouth saying provocative things that somehow she will not have to worry about having people that disagree with her speak their side. I do agree with her that many of her comments are skewed in media. She is edited in a way that makes it seem like she says something she does not. She blames this all on FoxNews, which obviously is a little ironic since many of the things she says about FoxNews is edited to look worse than it appears. She is loud, and she is opinionated, but I wouldn't put in some of the categories that her critics do. She uses "The View" as a pulpit for to talk about her views. The show is set up to be, I think, to showcase views of people from different places and dissenting points. OF COURSE you are going to have spats on the show, it is written in the annuls of the show. She was once hailed as the "Queen of Nice." I think her current job is trying to shatter that title, and she definitely has. She doesn't agree with President Bush, the war in Iraq, the way 9/11 was/is handled, and she doesn't EVER agree with Elisabeth Hassellbeck, (a co host on "the View") Elisabeth is the "conservative" pundant on the show, and truthfully she is the only one. She is one of those people in a society that always questions what is said everywhere. She doesn't just drink the Kool-Aid, which I respect. Recently, on May 17Th she made a comment that brought her even more of a backlash. She said, and I am going to try to quote it 100% ( i might be a conservative Christian, but I believe twisting what someones says to prove a point is not right or ethical) "655,000 Iraqi civilians have died, who are the terrorists?" (posed the question to EH) Then the media picked it up, and spun it. "They" claimed that Rosie said the United States Military are terrorists. I don't think that is what she was saying; instead I think she was calling the government and more exclusively the President a terrorist. Honestly, I have heard her say some things I agree with her about. Rosie has said, "I hate it when they call them a troop, it dehumanizes them; we should refer to them as soldiers." I agree; we should refer to them as humans. She has been very vocal about her disdain for the war, but I have never heard her say anything bad or negative about the subject of the troops. She, in my opinion, has said quite the contrary, "I love the American Soldiers, I want them to come home." So Wednesday there was quite a feud on the subject of the terrorist comment. Rosie, ask Elisabeth the question, "Do you, who are my friend think that I think the the troops are terrorists." Elisabeth, who usually doesn't argue, said, "It isn't my responsibility to tell people your innuendo." Elisabeth was trying to get Rosie to SAY she didn't think the soldiers were terrorist, and Rosie wanted to hear it from Elisabeth's mouth. It got very heated, and both of them were very angry. The truth is, both of them were very stubborn, and I think it is a little sad. I think their friendship is over. Rosie has made comments that offended me, like when she equated radical Muslims to radical Christians, which are really insane. Radical Christians SHOULD be instincted by love, and not motivated by hate. Christians SHOULD only hate one person/existence, satan. I understand why Rosie feels this way; I am sure she has come across alleged Christians who mock her and berate her. It is no secret she is a lesbian, and of course that puts her right smack dab in the opposition with Christians, and Christ's teachings. It is unfortunate she has come across our bad apples and I am sure that has done nothing by leave a bad taste in her mouth. I apologize, on behalf of Christians everywhere, what ought not be the way we live. Christ taught of LOVE, it is Christ's love that set each of us free. How can someone know God and be lead to God is we lead them to doubt His existence through our actions and speech. Now, what some in Rosie's circle do misinterpret are people like me, who disagree with homosexuality, BUT love people where they are in hopes and faith of seeing them move forward towards Christ. We just have to love each other, and even though Rosie doesn't really agree with anything I believe, doesn't mean she is out of the reach of God's arm. If that were true, then so are ALL of us. Peace with each other creates and environment for God's love to flow, and after all isn't that what we want? Deuces!

Vaya Con Dios
-b