I went through my old journal the other day. July 13, 2010, the most exciting time in my life, ( I had just gotten married 10 days before) I found myself missing something. My wife was and is perfect, so that wasn't the issue. In fact, I had been experiencing quite a mixed bag of emotions that past year. One year before, to the day, I had been laid off. Getting laid off is not pleasant by anyone's standard, but getting laid off from the place you call your church home is even worse.
I had no grid for this. I had never been let go from a job. I had never even had a bad review from a job. It was devastating. BUT! As only God can, he positioned a very amazing girl with a very amazing family in my life. Needless to say, I learned who my friends were, and more importantly who wasn't. I, luckily, had positioned myself into a great group of volunteers in the church, so I had great support from them! I worked with great people, but they never called to see how I was doing, and neither did anyone from the church. Mostly I feel like no one knew what to say, so no one said anything. (sidenote: if you know someone who is laid off, call them.... a lot.)
So, let me paint a sort of picture for you, because I was in quite a myriad of emotions. First, I had been laid off. Second, I was in love with a girl who I knew was going to be my wife. It truly was the BEST and WORST of times rolled into a soft corn taco that I had to get up July 14, 2009 and eat.
The manna season.
I found a job... in retail. I worked and ate it's manna. I got engaged. Mixture. I felt like I was wondering in Egypt, and right in the middle of blessings all at the same time. I began to love my job in retail. I remember telling God that I didn't want to do this forever, BUT if this is what He wanted then I was okay with it. (although I am not sure I would have made it forever). The best part, I was around unsaved people again. I loved that a lot. If you ever get around too many saved people it will make you go crazy. The unsaved are so precious and so loving, and so amazing and as you can imagine, working in a church doesn't put you into contact with them very much.
I learned a lot about myself. I also learned a lot about God, and just how much His love makes you open. I got mad at the church (the one I got let go from not the body). I was determined not to become hardhearted..... so I quickly forgave them. I understood this was a business decision, they couldn't pay their bills so of course they had to cut overhead. I moved on. Although I stayed at the church (even today) I separated myself from some people. It's amazing what freedom comes from not having to play politics, and power games. (sidenote: I know that sounds bitter, but the truth is, I have never talked with anyone who has worked in a church and that stuff didn't exist or anyone who worked in an organization for that matter).
I interviewed for job after job and thought surely this is the one. But sadly I didn't get them. I would walk into every interview and know this was the perfect job for me; only to find out through a letter that I hadn't been chosen. I got married, July 3 2010, and what a lovely day that was. It was the cornerstone of a season of change. Marriage did me good. I had a built in cheerleader.
So back to that journal entry on July 13 2010: "today I heard the Lord tell me He's preparing a place for me in a job. He's putting the things together . He gave me the impression that it was going to be the perfect place for me. That I would get a lot of satisfaction from it, and such. I like that confidence, so for now, I will continue to eat the manna. I choose to be grateful today. The Lord has provided greatly and I am thankful. I am happy where I am at today."
Wow, looking back, what a great testimony the Lord brought forward. The next month I landed the perfect job for me. One that fulfills me. One that let's me do the work of the church, but in the world. One that lets me use my gifts. I never thought that getting laid off would be a considered a blessing but God has a way of turning everything around for good. I choose to remember that today.