It is true...I am a horrible friend, son, person. I am not fishing for you to say: "No you aren't." The truth is...I am. I am mean, cruel, rude, and at times useless. I have to say that if, and I am sure that is more like when, I was rude to you...I am sorry. When you aren't in your right mind...and when you haven't been around Christ enough, that is what happens. Bitter roots bring nothing but bitterness. That is the lesson I am learning. My good friend pointed out that my mouth is like the mouth of a sailor...I am ashamed. I am praying, and I am getting the cloak of heaviness off...and I am putting on a garment of praise. If you wouldn't mind...I would covet your prayers. How dare I cast stones! My what a praise session can do for you. God bless all you....sorry for the pain...know that HURT people HURT people!
Vaya Con Dios
Monday, March 19, 2007
As I was preparing to give a message to the 5th and 6th graders, I had some revelations. Here they are. The message was on "Jesus is my Healer." It love healing, and I believe Jesus left this gift in with us...through Holy Spirit. If you don't believe that.....stop reading this blog....I don't have time to explain it if you won't listen. There is a scripture in the Bible says: "by His stripes you WERE healed." (emphasis added). I remember my first week of being a Christian...I got sick. Someone said...the stripes comment. Well, that is all they said and it didn't make sense to me, I knew Jesus wasn't a zebra. As I dug a little deeper I realized it was at the Crucifixion. His back was wiped wildly with the cat of nine tails. It is an awful torture instrument that has claws on the end which dig in the skin of it victims and rips muscle, skins, and can even ruin bones. It is a horrible little instrument, that Christ endured so that we could walk in health. I love that, even though Jesus' back was probably less stripes and more just sheer muscles and blood. You can't endure 39 whips of this device and have skin left on your back. This bloody bludgeoned soul who was absolutely the most perfect person to ever walk this earth....and the healthiest, took all that so that I could obtain healing anytime a situation arises. What I love about the above scripture is the word WERE! Just as tomorrow, if I sin, I it is already forgiven because of Christ work on The Cross. That word WERE, means that if I am ill today or tomorrow, it has already been healed. I love that. In Jesus, we have a healer. We have got to get this, or who else will. I mean, I think every generation has missed it.....we cannot. We must take this and run with it, and go forth. Cheerio!
Friday, March 02, 2007
Do you ever feel like you are slide down a rope and the panic that it is coming to an end and you are going to fall, and fall hard? But then you reach down and you see you have 10 more feet to really stop and that is more than enough to get it done!? I sometimes feel like life is out of control and I am Alice falling down the pit only being stopped by the millions of hands that are mysteriously covering the walls of the hole. I know that sounds like I am about to tell you how depressed I am, but the truth is, I am surprisingly good. I am not going to lie, I have have a tough six months, I am not just putting on a rough-and-tough exterior....my heart has been broken, and broken so bad, I truly didn't know if/when it was possible to fix. That is when I knew I was in trouble, when I started to doubt the power of God in my life. I have realized no one has a peachy life all the time, they just don't freak out which is something I think I do too much. You know I really love life, but it has been hard getting out of bed lately, or really the past few months. But God is always faithful, even when we put up a wall and say: "This is as far as you can come." I find it a funny that while I think i don't' want more intimacy with the person who knows me and my intentions better than anyone else, I keep muddling under my breath these prayers for faith, fury, protection, wisdom, and patience. That is the most ridiculous double talk, I think I have even heard myself utter. I find that once you know God, getting away from Him is the impossible part, and just at that moment of weakness, He sends someone something in your path. Not as a judgement, but rather a gentle reminder that He is there, and He is love. That is what I think I need in life. The ability to say to someone....it is okay that you are getting away from me, you know me, and you know you can't live without me. Passion is a funny thing sometimes, just then you think that you are passionate, you meet the person who is more passionate that you. You don't' always do the best thing when you are passionate about something, but you always have in mind that thing, that motivating factor, that drug, addiction....in my life I have had passions, some stay long enough to see the development of something great, some of them are gone before morning dawn breaks. But all in all, I have had passion, and truly I would rather have had fleeting passion that goes through your hand like fine sand, than to never have embark on the journey of seeing your dreams come to life. Regardless of how stupid I look in my life, and if you know me, then you know I have done some dumb things quite often, I will not give up on three things.....the pursuit of life, and all that that entails such as adventures, discovering (self and environmental), painting, learning, gaining wisdom form elders, quiet embraces, long walks on the beach, happiness, confidence in extremely diverse circumstances, and most of all my pursuit of God....that is the is life; life to the fullest...is there any other way to live? The second is similar to the first, and it is family. What can I say, you have got to have family. Who else would encourage you in your wildest pursuits? To me, you need those bonds. You need that part of life. God is so go to bless me with a family that, even though was not perfect, leaned on God to get it right. I say that, and I can hear people say..."my family was hell." Well, I never make excuses for my actions or my families. My parents are divorced, and my dad was a raging alcoholic most of my upbringing. Doesn't seem like a fairy tale does it? The truth is God can redeem that, and He can take that and make it good, and use it to better you and the kingdom at hand. Family stays with you through the fire and through the smoke. Does my childhood upbringing effect my behavior, feeling, actions....that is question I always get. Truly, I know it does, even today. I know my dad is never going to be the picture perfect dad. Actually that does not exist, in even the best dads. That is why God is our heavenly father, He isn't called that only because He is is in heaven. The truth is, as God wrote the Bible, He wanted us to know how much good He had for us....He wanted us to know He was/is the picture perfect father. I love that about Him, He just spills all the beans, and makes no amends for the truth. God is so cut and dry that truth is His standard, and truth is a good standard, because that means that there is no argument. The third is friends....gosh that sounds so perfect, but the truth is...I am done with playmates. I want and need friends. Those are the people that make a difference. Those are the ones that will tell you....you are wrong, right, left, right, crazy, delusional, insane, wise, willing, and able. God send those to me. I am sick of feeling like I am in 3rd grade at recess and playing tag. I want friends that will speak into my life. God is so in control of those things.....sheesh...that is a lot to absorb. I didn't plan on this being this long, but I knew I needed to get those things off my chest. God is good
Vaya con Dios