Thursday, December 06, 2007


I was discussing with a friend the other day about how there is a subculture in Christianity.  This new culture is very aware of what's going on in the society in which they live.  They are concerned about the environment.  This doesn't mean the subscribe to the thoughts about global warming.  They just simply feel like it is their responsibility to take care of that which God gave to them.  I think it is interesting that God used the pandering about global warming to wake up a culture of people to take care of things that can be taken care of.  This doesn't mean we always recycle, always eat organic, hug trees, think creation is more important than The Creator.  Truthfully this is our world handed to us by The Creator, and it is our responsibility to do the right thing.  

This culture is more than thanking about the environment, but they are also concerned about the political nature of the world.  They are ever increasingly separating themselves from political parties; while asking hard questions to candidates on each side.  They didn't do this because they don't think Iraq is going in the right direction, or that they were lied to as to the reason that we are even in Iraq; they are just decided that this country is worth fighting for.  That EVER life is worth saving, and humanity needed them.  

This culture fights for all human life.  They see people in need and they are spurred to action.  When they see injustice they fight for it, and fight hard.  Not breaking any of the rules, and being peaceful, with one voice.  This means when they see children in Africa shattered by AIDS, homeless and hungry in their communities, unborn children who's right are subject to being violated, people having to chose between food or medicine, and elderly having their freedoms removed; they will take the actions necessary whatever they might be....barring murder, stealing....and any other despicable unrighteous behavior to see it the policy change.

It's funny to watch this.  It offends their families, who, for lack of a better analogy, drank the kool-aid,   and didn't look for the truth.  It doesn't mean their family is wrong or the culture is right, but the truth is, the sub-culture has realized the importance of being in the culture and influencing it.  

Cultural relevancy is not a new term in the Christian circles, but I am not sure it has ever happened until now.     I am not sure the culture has always been wrong, but it just that Christians have been scared to be in the culture of America and help either turn it or keep it from turning.  It is so interesting.  It is just a thought and some observations that I have noticed over the past few years or so.  

Vaya Con Dios


Monday, November 26, 2007

stem cell

WASHINGTON - A breakthrough in stem cell research could
give President Bush and his anti-abortion allies a political I-told-you-so in a
debate Democrats have long been planning to use in next year's elections.

Bush's twin vetoes of bills to put taxpayer dollars
behind embryonic stem cell research, Democrats said, showed that he would let
ideology block progress in finding cures to diseases that afflict millions of


Bush insisted that medical advances could be made
without destroying embryos. On Tuesday, two teams of scientists on different
continents reported advances in research that might prove him right, giving his
administration a dose of vindication in an otherwise grim last year of office.

In the journals Science and Cell, the scientists
reported that they had coaxed regular human cells into mimicking the
disease-fighting potential of embryonic stem cells - without destroying budding
human life.

Debate over, according to White House officials.

"This is evidence ... that we can get the good results we want from science without cutting corners on ethics," said Karl

Zinsmeister, Bush's domestic policy adviser. "Let's not set up a false choice between on the one hand, progress, and on the other hand, ethics."

Stem cells extracted from embryos a few days old can morph into any type of tissue and are widely considered to hold the greatest promise of treatments and cures for cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's and other ailments. But extracting the stem cells destroys the embryo. Bush and his allies consider that crossing an ethical line that taxpayers should not be forced to finance. Proponents of the process say public money would only be used on embryos that would be discarded anyway under the vetoed legislation. And they say the scientific breakthroughs reported Tuesday changes nothing about the debate. All types of stem cell research should be promoted with federal funding, proponents say.

Additionally, said Rep. Diana DeGette, D-Colo., the years of vetoes and the personal nature of the debate have educated voters to the nuances of the rhetoric. Research on cells derived from adults is not a substitute for embryonic stem cell research, she said.

"The argument that we need to have all types of ethical research is the argument that sways voters," DeGette said Tuesday. "The White House and the opponents of stem cell research have been saying for years that they think adult stem cells are substitutes. This is not a new argument that they're making."

"Scientists may yet find that embryonic stem cells are more powerful," said Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa. "We need to continue to pursue all alternatives as we search for treatments for diabetes, Parkinson's and spinal cord injuries."

Still, the research and the holy grail rhetoric used by some of the scientists who have championed stem cell research can't be anything but persuasive and memorable to voters less than a year out from balloting. Every House seat, a third of the Senate as well as the presidency will be up for grabs during the 2008 election.

The Iraq war, Bush's terrorism-fighting strategy and legal scuffles with Congress over executive power have sunk the president's popularity rating to around 30 percent. But the science announced Tuesday could insulate him from attacks by Democrats on an issue that once left him more vulnerable.

"It solves the ethical dilemma," said Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla. "This should put an end to" the debate. "Maybe we can all now reach agreement on what has been an all-too-divisive issue and advance this promising research through the power of federal funds," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky.

Nevertheless, the question of whether taxpayers should finance embryonic stem cell research will make an appearance on the 2008 campaign trail, said its proponents.

"It's terribly wrong for any politician to be trying to pick and choose one type of ethical research over another," DeGette said. "That issue isn't going away."

Friday, November 16, 2007


So, as most of you know, I switched jobs, and I am working for Starbucks! I am so thrilled, and I ABSOLUTELY love what I do.
If you have been into any Starbucks, lately, then you know the stores are in full Christmas mode. The red cups are out, the "holiday trio" drinks are in full capacity, and of course each partner (employee) is wearing their READ shirt. I love Starbucks at the holidays; I just can't get enough!
This is just such a good season everywhere. I love the holidays, food, family, fun. I think buying gifts is the best part of Christmas. I love going on the hunt for JUST the RIGHT thing. I love it. I don't really know why, but I just do! Make sure you "Pass the Cheer." Check out PASS THE CHEER

Here is an awesome picture of what I think this holiday is all about!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

...and in comes the Miracle!

YEAH! I am so super excited. Just got word today, that my granddad is going to have a procedure called an ABLATION. It's pretty much a fancy word for burning the tumors out. So that is awesome...even better...he is having the procedure in Oklahoma City, his home, and not to Houston like we had anticipated. God DOES answer prayer. I know that is said a lot, and as a Christian I have used that to tell of some thing God has gotten me out of, but I have never used it to explain a miracle in my life!

It is a miracle, now sometimes I think we think the only time it is called a miracle is when things vanish or are gone. The truth is miracles happen all the time. God created science, and since he did that, he created the miracle science that is going to heal my granddad. I know this isn't a popular view, but it's the truth.

I was reading in Proverbs the other day.... whoa.... if you haven't you should. Did you know the Bible gives you wisdom on topics your neighbor a compliment. It says in Proverbs, complimenting your neighbor early in the morning is a curse. Whoa, meaning, if you compliment your neighbor early in the morning, while they are sleeping, you do no good to them! That is so cool.... so get to reading, and let it change the way you think.... I will have more on this in the future!!

vaya con Dios


Friday, October 19, 2007

Hebrews 11:1

I know that I am Christian, and we are suppose to have struggles and hard times.... but I haven't had a lot of those things. I mean sure I lived in Clovis New Mexico and hated every minute of it...but I only hated it because I am a spoiled little brat. It was outside of my comfort zone and I was unable to do the things I liked and wanted to do at all times. I did survives school, and God guided me through what I needed to choose as a was tough at times, but honestly I sweet talked my way through it. There weren't many tough times because I wouldn't let it escalate to that. I also worked in a very stressful job and was VERY tired and watched 8 and 15 year olds die WAY to early.... but that was slightly removed from me. Honestly my job was to just love the families through that. I always have to be the tough one through everything; I have to be the consoler. You might be asking yourself.... why do you feel like you have to do that? Honestly, I feel like if I don't do it, then no one will. It is a place I loathe, and it is place that I live. I think it stems from my teachings in my life that told me...."men are tough." While I agree somewhat with that, it seems like that is all I keep doing. I feel like I can't be vulnerable. And dear friends, if you know me at all you know, that everything is shrugged off with a laugh.... a quip.... a sarcastic statement. Truthfully, I think that is the defense mechanism, and I hate it. I hate having to be the "funny" one. Not that I don't enjoy it, I love it also.... It’s just when I am not in a humorous mood...then everyone wants me to make them laugh. While, making people laugh gives me a huge thrill.... where does the comedian go when they don't feel like laughing? Where does the soul go when it needs replenishment...well it's God. I am so glad he validates me.

I got some really bad news today. The man who taught me what it means to be a man.... my grandpa, was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. I cried. I wept. I called him, and I couldn't take it. He was so mellow. He is the one who I get my sense of humor from. He was almost defeated. I asked how he was.... he replied, "better than I thought I would be." I told him, that Jesus loves him, and that just because he got the bad news today, God still was in control. I assured him that I would pray for him, and that if anyone could beat would be my Paw-Paw. Oh, how I love him. I prayed today. I told God not take my Paw-Paw away. I know God heard me. I know He cares, but the hurt my heart feels is unbearable. I have told others in my situation to: "pray,” "pray without ceasing” God will come through, don’t' fear. I have told them, God is in control, He wants them healed...pray.... press through. I realize how insensitive that is. I realize how preposterously rude that sounds. It took me going through this to realize that, because I see myself having a hard time taking my advice. I know in my heart God so loves my granddad, and that He truly wants to heal him, and I know God loves me and doesn’t want me hurt. It is just that I am at the crossroad where faith and hope meet. It is that inevitable fork in the road, when you must decide whether you are going to walk out what you say or shrink back and lose faith. It is a very tough place. Every ounce of my body wants to get into my bed pull the sheets over my head and wither away, but I know that doing nothing means reaping nothing. My granddad, I believe all be it not 100%, is a Christian. I believe it, but I don't know; that's what makes this so hard. I know God is good.... all the time.

vaya con Dios


Thursday, October 11, 2007

And this blog takes a new turn...

Okay, so I am thinking that this blog has really been about me for the past year and a half. I am going to start updating it more often, and I am going to start putting stories on here that the national news will not pick up! This first one is nine kinds of wrong. Racism....can you believe today there is is sad and this story is the worst. Please read it, and please speak out when your friend makes an off color remark. Racism is wrong

This happened in West Virginia very recently and Megan Williams was still being treated for this in the hospital.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

She was Tortured and Raped for a whole week, by Six White individuals, Three males and Three Females Between the ages of 20 and 49.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

CNN normally does not reveal sexual assault victims’ names. But Williams, who is hospitalized, and her mother, Carmen Williams, wanted her identity revealed.
Police said Bobby Brewster raped Williams, forced her to lick blood and drink from a toilet, and told his mother to kill Williams if she tried to escape. Authorities previously said Williams was also forced to eat rat and dog feces.
According to criminal complaints filed in the county, Williams was assaulted, stabbed in the left leg, choked with cords and beaten for at least a week. When she was found, big parts of her hair had also been torn off of her scalp. Williams says that Alisha Burton 22 cut her ankle with a knife while saying, “That’s what we do to Niggers around here,” police records show.
“I don’t understand a human being doing another human being the way they did my daughter,” Carmen Williams told The Associated Press on Tuesday from her daughter’s hospital room. “I didn’t know there were people like that out here.”
Deputies received a tip and Saturday visited a home owned by Frankie Brewster in Big Creek , West Virginia . As the deputies spoke with a woman on the front porch, “a female inside the residence limped toward the door with her arms held out, saying ‘Help me,’ ” according to a news release from the sheriff’s department. “It’s something you’d expect to see in a horror movie, not in Logan County ,” Abraham said. “She was subjected to unendurable torture down there.”
The six are charged with kidnapping, sexual assault, malicious wounding and battery. If convicted of kidnapping, a suspect could face a sentence of up to life in prison. The penalty for first-degree sexual assault is 15 to 35 years. Abraham said he is seeking the maximum sentence on the kidnapping charges. In addition to the Brewsters, the suspects are Danny J. Combs, 20, of Harts, West Virginia; and George A. Messer, 27, Karen Burton, 46, and her daughter, Alisha Burton, 23, all of Chapmanville, West Virginia. “They all have previous records and have been arrested numerous times,” Sheriff W.E. Hunter said Tuesday. “They are familiar to law enforcement.”
Frankie Brewster was charged with first-degree murder in 1994, but pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of manslaughter in the death of an 84-year-old woman. She was released in 2000 after serving five years in prison, according to court records cited by the AP. All of the six individuals that are involved in this case are accused of 108 different cases of crimes all combined.
All six were being held in lieu of $100,000 bail, and all requested court-appointed attorneys, the AP reported. Investigators are still looking for two other people suspected of driving Williams to the home, according to the AP.
Carmen Williams had not reported her daughter missing, saying Megan Williams often disappeared for weeks at a time.
Carmen Williams said she is “horrified” by her daughter’s injuries. “She wakes up crying, and the first thing she hollers is ‘Mommy,’ ” she said.

Sunday, September 30, 2007


So, I had this crazy conversation with a friend today. She is hysterically funny, and I absolutely think she is crazy!!! We were at work and she and I were discussing church, she doesn't go to the church I attend, and in fact she completely disagrees with my church.

I sat and listened to her, and she told why she had such distain for my church home. The problem centered on the new church we are building. She said it hurt her heart, and that is didn't show any reverence or humility. Now, you have to understand that my church is pretty insanely large and we are building an even larger one. After listening to what she said, I told her that we a full, out church is in 5 full services and if we didn't expand we would not be able to grow. It was then she had realized that the church I attend was different than the church she attended.

Then I got to thinking; it is so funny, that we as humans think so squarely about things. We only see it from the mile we have walked. I am so guilty of this. I have been spoon fed some things I am not sure I agree with. At the core of my beliefs, and then I just agree with it, and do no research. Oh, that is scary. Then we make assumptions about they way the other person said something; instead of just asking if they meant it the way we took it. So, wrong! So, so, wrong! We just have to meet each other from where we are coming from.

In the end, the girl and I laughed, because when you can have a conversation with someone and you have dissenting opinions, and it is just a conversation to establish where your point of view is coming from. We just chalked it up to differing personalities! I love it! See the other perspective!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Um...can I have your attention this thing on..?

Well, life as I know it is changing. Whoa, that is always fun. I had two people tell me yesterday that they could see me mature. How wierd...right? I don't really know what to do with that except that I just think it might be conformation. So, I am in the middle of changing careers, if you're counting that is like 3 times. But for the first time, I am going after something I want. I have been recruited out of my last two jobs, and I am not sure I was suppose to do that. I think that is a little of why I find myself working in my current job, and completely unhappy. BUT, God is making a way, now that might sound rather ridiculous, but it is true. It is like the burden was neve rmine to carry. i am so amazed, that when I get to the plac ewher eI want to scream, becaus eI hate my job, God, in His swiftness, changes My desires. I love it. I love it! So, how are you? I feel like I haven't talked to any of you in a while. Hope this message finds you in complete peace. Thanks for listening, you are now free to move about the cabin.....

vaya con Dios


Thursday, August 16, 2007

change is in the air....

I love it. The winds of change are blowing. I can't get enough of change. It all comes from my ability to easily become very bored. I think I like it. I guess becuase the truth of it all is, when you get into something and you can easily get into a cicle of things. You always do what you always have and you always get what you always got. It is my belief that Jesus is super creative. I think He changes things all the time. I think his main reason for doing it is to get us to trust Him even more. Now, that doesn't mean that there isn't sacred cows. There are some things we do and continue to do them because that is the right thing to do. I just feel like it is time to change the way we do things. It is very annoying for people to do what we do as if we are robots! We are not....

vaya con Dios

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

When you have nothing left

I just got back into town from my churches Kid's Camp. It was 5 days of the most fun I have ever had. Most of the people that read this blog know I work with the 5th and 6th graders at my church. I loved it. This year marked my 6th camp that I have been to with my church. This one year I had more responsibility than I ever had. It was crazy, and the last day I was so exhausted. I can't believe that I did what I did. This camp was such a different experience, because I am so invested in the ministry. I saw some of the kids i teach do thing I never thougth they would. I saw them do things I didn't know they could. I got a little choked up on the last night, after i realized this would be one of the last times I would see the 6th graders. They will move up to the youth in a couple of weeks. It is tough to say goodbye to the kids I have held near and dear to my heart. They are the best, smartest, brightest, funniest, and absolutely unbelievable. I have never been so challenged in my faith by anyone ever. They make me seek out God even further. They have wisdom I wished I had at their age.

It is funny how you think you are tapped out, God gives you the strength to go the next mile. I am so suprised at what God had me be apart of. It is crazy. I sat down last night about 5:30 and fell asleep immediately and woke up at 11 am. I never sleep that long....I was so tired.

I went to Wal-Mart today, and saw one of the kids that was at camp and they came up and screamed their cheer at me! Oh, it was amazing.....God is good. I am pretty much is time to get to bed!

Vaya con dios


Monday, July 23, 2007

Why am I compelled

I am just going to put this out there. I love Wife Swap. It is such a good show. Now, the name, if you haven't seen it might throw you for a loop. The truth is, the producers of the show get two families that are polar opposites, and forces them to live together for 2 weeks. They move the mothers to opposite houses. The first week the mothers must follow the rules of their new house. It is interesting to watch them go against the grain of their comfort zones. As you could imagine they do it kicking and screaming. They bite their tongues knowing that that their redemption and pay back is coming. They make it through the week begrudgingly to say the least. The next week, the moms get to make new rules. The family must follow them. The rules, as you would suspect, are the opposite ones. This creates a rift between the family and the new "mom". It sets up nine kinds of angst. The rule changes usually expose some sort of bigotry, unfairness, lack of respect, or oppression.

Tonight episode had an ultra conservative Mennonite family, and a more liberal "punk rock" family. You can see the writing on the wall, I am sure. The mom from the "punk" family fronts the family band. Well, the new mom must sing in the band. Well, let's be honest punk rock and Mennonite don't so much mesh. The mother, after some kicking and screaming and talking about how this went against her religious convictions, got on stage and told the audience that Jesus loved them. It was okay, and she told the "punk" father his son's video games were too violent. The next week she taught this same child about the crucifixion. Now, call me crazy but isn't that the most violent story in history. The show exposes biases on both sides. In the end, the families figure out how crazy they are, and they realize they need to loosen of tighten up the way they parent for treat their spouse.

While they hate each other, at first, they usually have a "sorry I yelled/disrespected" you moment. It is a really good show. I am really impressed with it. You should check it out. Mondays 7pm ABC.

Vaya Con Dios


Wednesday, July 04, 2007


What is Freedom? I am not sure exactly, because I am not sure I fully have it. I think i means having the ability to accomplish all that is in front of you. I think it's the ability to get out of any situation unscathed. I think it's the ability to stand up and live in full, peace, joy and enjoyment with unrestricted access to everything. I think it also means breathing in fully where your lungs tingle because they are so full. I am going to get there, I will be unrestricted in everything I want to accomplish.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I'm Lost

Now, before you assume, I am not backsliding or anything like that. I simply realized my desires are changing. I am sick of my job and desiring to find something else. Now, that might be a normal thing to you, but to me that is news. I mean I loved my job at one time, and I am good at my job, but my desires are changing. It is weird. VERY weird. I like the idea of going through change, I am not so happy where I am. Not that I am depressed but I would just like some security in what I am doing. When you work for a non profit it all depends on funding. Finding funding, and allocating funding. It is sometimes a vicious cycle sometimes. It is kill or be killed, or better said; if you don't kill it you don't eat it. I don't know really what is going on, but I know that God has shown me some things and is really working on me about some issues. Mostly my attitude towards people and places, and those changes are, hopefully evident. Now, I know what dissenters will say, didn't you just change jobs. Well that was almost 2 years ago, and I am in a WAY different place right now. I am not sure where this new creative juices are going to take me, but I do know that wherever it takes me, I will be doing what God does. He creates.....more to come I have to go back to work!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I have big feet...

Well, really, I don't have that big of feet. I only wear a size eleven and for a 6'4" person those are pretty small feet. But today I thought I would put my feet in my mouth today, and I realized that it is hard to put a size eleven in my mouth. I don't know why; I have a massively large mouth, and it gets me into trouble so many times it isn't funny. Well, really it is never funny. When you hurt others who are friends; it's never cool. I am such a horrible representative of a Christian, and I apologize. It isn't God when you aren't loving, and sarcasm is always wrong. ALWAYS, and that is how I joke all the time. Dang it, I hate this feeling. I hate it when you know that you hurt someone, regardless of my intentions, it still hurt and defamed someone. Why would I do that, what possesses someone to do that. I don't know, and I am the last person you should ask. I have a long way to go.......I mean a L-O-N-G way to go. i am not sure what this whole things is, but I do not it isn't love, and that is what's wrong. When you act, say, live in love then you have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, you never know if it isn't fueled by love. What a Schmuck!

Vaya Con Dios

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

What's in a name...

So, I am still writing my book, man is it exhilarating. I love it, but I needed a little break. I looked up what my name meant; and hopefully there isn't much to a name. My name means "BADGER". Now, that is no fun. I can't imagine that has anything to do with my character. Well, you know me so, maybe it does! It is a little depressing when people say things like: "my name means glory to God...or my name means peace beyond measure." I am sure you can imagine the horrid look on their face when I say, "My name means badger." (followed by gestures that are suppose to mimic what I believe badgers do, it doesn't at all if you were wondering) Oh it is funny to me! Thank God I am valued by Him based on Jesus and not my name!

Vaya Con Dios

Sunday, June 17, 2007

I called my dad...

It is, after all, Farther's Day, so I called my dad right when I got out fo church. answer. I thought to myself, "I wonder where they are, and why they are not at home."
I watched on TV, dad's that loved their children, and I started to think about my childhood. I grew up in a middle class family. I didn't get everything I wanted, but kids shouldn't. My parent's were both from small towns, and were not really church going people. My dad was an alcoholic, and he was intoxicated almost every evening. When I was a child, just thought I had the most fun dad of all. I later realized his thick tongue antics were nothing but a drunken binge. There is definetely a difference between ignorance to the issue and knowledge followed by total embarrassement. Once I realized what was at play, my dad and I's relationship never recovered. I was angry, and I wasn't giving in. I held him at arms length even after he sobered. I refused to let him in. In fact, I am not sure if today, he is still a little hurt by that.

After my parent's divorced, I pretty much disowned my dad. He, in a numb and hearbroken state, couldn't must up the strength, striped by my childish antics, to come and build a relationship with me. I was horrible to him, I just had so much anger built up I couldn't just love him. I know people don't always say this, but I will, I did not love him. I was the victim, he was the peace taker. He took my peace, and I resented it. I wrote him a nasty note aobut how he wasn't my dad......what a a wretched thing to do. What a piece of crap. I can't believe I did that. I can honestly say, my dad, God bless his heart, tried to be the best dad he could, while dealing with alcoholism, meeting the needs of a family, and having the maturity of a 16; as that was the age he was when he started to drink, which you never mature after. So basically he was a teenager raising kids. That is a lot of pressure for one man to bear, especially when you are not a Christian. He didn't know the Lord, but he was about to.

I remember the day he walked down to recieve Christ, I was shocked.
He and I are really good friends today, I can honestly say I love him. He isn't perfect but, he's my dad and when I called him today, he cried because he loves me and misses spending time with me. THAT is a father, that is MY dad!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Paradigm Torque

So, I finally bought the book, and started to read it. It is shifting me, and challenging my beliefs. I like that. I wasn't so sure I was going to like it, people said it was a little anti establishment. I assumed it was just another person who is mad at the church and has written a book in hopes that the Church would get back in line. I thought it would be some liberal fanatic who wants people to know that not all Christians are republicans. Surprisingly it isn't any of those things. It is all about religion and how Christians cling to what they are taught instead of finding out for themselves. I have, at best, been a little convicted. I am so selfish, and judgemental, and I really relation to Don Miller's problems he has faced. He is so transparent in the book, and I love that. It you are looking for a good book pick it up. i will post more later, but I just wanted to get that off my chest!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What a week!

This is the week of insanity! At work this week I have the biggest event I do all year. It is an animal, but it is FUN! Besides that I have had to work all weekend, and all this week. There is a firefighter convention in Amarillo, and since firefighter do so much for us, we get to attend their meetings. Last night we hosted a hospitality room for the FF's. I am pretty sure they drink beer like it is water, and they get a little crazy at times. They are the most fun group we are associated with. I am humbled by their courage and their absolute humility. Firefighters are a rare breed; they give so much to the community in the area of safety but then in between there other jobs they raise money for MDA. It is a great partnership. Everyone loves firefighters, and when they are responding to a call EVERYONE is glad they are there. Police, on the other hand, are not always as welcomed then they respond to their calls. I am fortunate to get to know them, and to see them on a regular basis. Local 542 is the union number for the Amarillo ff's, and they are the best FF's in the state of TEXAS. They raised $36,000 in this year's Fill The Boot drive, and they are among the modern days hero's in my book. They are a blessing to behold, and the most loyal people on the planet. The flop side, is they never forget anything. If you do wrong by them they will never forget, but once they are part of the family, they will never divorce the family, and they are like that uncle that you can always depend on.
Wish me luck this week, the families we serve are depending on us, and I NEVER want to disappoint them!

Vaya Con Dios

Friday, June 08, 2007

e-words of wisdom

A couple of days ago I sent the following message to a friend. While I pondered it and tried to dissect it, I got inspired. I wanted to share it with you, and things that I thought of after I hit the sent button. I can't tell you really where all this came from, but it started as a drip and slowly the floodgates opened, and I couldn't stop. The email started as an encouraging word, but later snowballed into this work of wise alliterations. I take NO credit for this, it seems to be inspired but God. If that isn't your cup of tea, I don't care. Sorry, if that is rude, but it's the truth.

I don't know God's plans for you, truthfully I haven't asked, but I know a couple of things, yellow sno-cones make me happy, and the flat lands of Amarillo are my home. Be blessed beyond measure, but don't forget to give thanks. God has a way of showing Himself in times of trials, but that doesn't mean He forgets us. Play in the dirt, don't eat mud pies. Ponder your life, and get the vision, then it's like sailing, going where the wind takes you. After all it is much easier to use the wind than to paddle the boat on your own. Keep fresh ideas tucked in your heart, and don't let the ways of the world discourage your potential. Wisdom comes, when idleness leaves. You are always attacked when you are on the edge of your promise land. It is the way it works, stay strong, and don't lose heart. Keep the faith, and fight the good fight. Stay humble, we never know all the variables, but we do know the One who does. Learn to fight in seasons of rest, but don't forget the sword is heavy when you don't know how to yield it to God. Look out your window and behold your future, but don't lose your grasp on the now. Cracked pots can always be glued, but a million pieces is a lot of work. Watch out for snakes, and feed the lambs. Help others, and help yourself. Indulge yourself in oxygen, just remember how intricate your body is. Hug often, laugh more. It is easier to lose your innocent, but impossible to lose His love. When you think your done, check one more time. Let excellence be your standard; perfectionism is impossible. Take long walks, enjoy your home. Don't get caught up in gossip, and be loyal to your friends. Talk about yourself less, and ask questions of other more. Never shed that skin of a child, but take responsibility for your own actions. Never loose heart, but keep your head on. Chase things with wild abandonment, but don't get off the path. Keep you head on straight, but don't be an adult at heart. Seasons change but love never does. Come home, but don't always know where you are. When in doubt, don't freight the changes that come. Beg for mercy, but don't regret mistakes. Learn from others, even donkey's. Keep your heart guarded but don't withhold love. Share your feeling, they are after all only what one man in one situation has to offer up. Keep friends, show your enemy's you care. If you lose, get back to the starting gate. And finally, once you do what you are called to, destiny will be yours, and that destiny will affect the world. Smile more frown less!

Vaya Con Dios

Monday, June 04, 2007


"I feel strongly about mementos, memorabilia you call them." -Edy Beale (Grey Gardens)
I love them. They are, to me, those things you keep in a box or on your wall that remind you of a place in your history that touches you deeply, or brings in a well of fresh water, because you remember the events that took place when you where there in that time and place. I have a molded plastic bunny rabbit that I got out of the quarter machines at my grandparent's restaurant. The memory attached to that is priceless to me. I would go up to the restaurant and bus tables, and hang out with the waitresses and get their entire life story. Every time my parents would come up there I would ask for a quarter to go put in what my dad called the "junk machines." The Chuck Wagon was a greasy spoon restaurant that my grandparents bought as an investment. I remember my uncle managed the it and sometimes when I was lucky I got to go up and work.....if I only knew now that that wasn't fun, I probably wouldn't today. I have kept that little thing in a drawer, it makes me happy.
I was thinking the other day about my life, as I pretty much do every time I am faced with a crossroad. I think of how blessed I am to live in America, Texas, Amarillo. The sunsets are unbelievable. While I was thinking God reminded me about how the Israelites would place twelve stones piled up in a place of remembrance. I like that idea. Placing twelve stones in significant places in your life, at the place where God did something awesome, and showed His faithfulness to you even while there are billion upon billions of others. He paused and came to your rescue, deliverance, and mercy. It is in those times, that we have a choice to make, develop our relationship with God so we are not in those places, or simply thank Him for getting us out of another hole, drought, or desert place. These things aren't always bad, sometimes they are just god showing us He cares. I read the Bible and I see how much He loves and cares for us, but when He puts those words in to action and proves His word to be true, it proves to us that His Word is true and that gives us faith to believe the impossible.
One of the stone monuments for me, was when I was in Clovis working my tail off for 8 months, and then suddenly, I was offered the job to work with the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and I realized why I went through many of the trainings and trials that I did. All of my experiences to that point readied me to take the job head on. Now, I stand here in the grassy knoll and happen upon a fork in the path that God is taking me. I don't know really what path God wants me to go down, but I do know that His BEST, is what I want. That, truthfully, is all I need. Thank God I am not in control of my own destiny, but simply pointed in the direction I should go. I love that feeling, it isn't my decision to make, but rather His to show me.

Vaya con Dios


Thursday, May 31, 2007

Sunday's w/ Grammy

When I was younger, I used to spend that night at my Grammy's house. Me and my cousins would go Saturday evening, and stay up late with our grandmother and play Tetris until the wee hours of the morning. I loved it....can you believe that my grandmother was so awesome that she played Tetris with us. She actually went out and bought a Nintendo after she played one of the grandkid's systems. I loved it. She was one of the most stylish person I know. She always had the latest and greatest gadgets. I have no doubt that if she were alive today she would have an Ipod.
My cousins and I would sleep in the back middle room, and scare and dare each other to go to the formal living room. My grandmother's house was huge, and to us little kids it gave us a little bit of a scare. We never really went to the back den, that was my granddad's room. He was always watching some show, and he always fell asleep while the TV was, and it was so late there was nothing but snow on the screen. He was hard of hearing so there was nothing but loud noises coming out of that room. There was a picture out great-grandmother painted in the middle bedroom, it was of a clown. The clown always had such a weird smirk on his face, and of course we little ones were a little scared of him. I remember the bed we all slept on the headboard was blond, and that bed creaked and squeaked so bad every time we moved. Gran-gran (my grandad's "common" name) knew we were awake when he could hear the squeaking. I think they only reason they kept the bed was to keep us in check. My grandad always slept with a revolver on his nightstand. He taught us the respect of guns. He was never happier than when he would pull out his rare and common guns and give us the story of each. We just sat there on the couch handling the guns with big beady eyes fascinated by the stories of these jewels. We would sleep in until 7:00 am, that was sleeping in to us. Then around 8 Gran-Gran would bring in the magical box of the best doughnuts on earth. We loved the Doughnut Stop, and the three of us would down the dozen in 3.5 seconds. But there were some rare instances when Grammy would get us all dressed up and then load us all up in the Lincoln Continental and take us to the Mc Donald's drive though to get us all "The Big Country Breakfast" meals. We loved being at Grammy's, she never said no. Then after lunch, which was always a sandwich we would go out and swim in the pool. THAT was living to us, and we could not get enough of the chlorine induces coma that proceeded. Grammy would sit out by the pool in her signature patio dresses, and just watch us and laugh at our jokes, and warm us up when our teeth would chattering. She would tell us stories from her childhood. She was an amazing basketball player, and she would get us all tickled when she talked about how she met Gran-Gran. We would shout, "ooo, Gross Grammy." She would just smile and say, "Well that is love." When I was in 7th grade she was diagnosed with serosis of the liver, and she had to have a liver transplant. She died the following year, but I will never forget the times we spent at the Carter Manner. Grammy I love you! You taught me things I carry in my heart to this day.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The problem with Rosie...

Okay, so Rosie has been quite of a figure on her latest gig on "The View." I have never seen the show, nor do I think it sounds appealing. I have however seen clips in the media, and on youtube. I don't have a problem with the things she says, because she has a perfectly good right to say as she chooses; she, after all has the right to in the 1st Amendment in the constitution. I think she is a large figure in the media, and that wasn't a slam, I have no interest in doing that. She has taken a lot of heat over some of her comments. I think it is interesting she doesn't think with a large mouth saying provocative things that somehow she will not have to worry about having people that disagree with her speak their side. I do agree with her that many of her comments are skewed in media. She is edited in a way that makes it seem like she says something she does not. She blames this all on FoxNews, which obviously is a little ironic since many of the things she says about FoxNews is edited to look worse than it appears. She is loud, and she is opinionated, but I wouldn't put in some of the categories that her critics do. She uses "The View" as a pulpit for to talk about her views. The show is set up to be, I think, to showcase views of people from different places and dissenting points. OF COURSE you are going to have spats on the show, it is written in the annuls of the show. She was once hailed as the "Queen of Nice." I think her current job is trying to shatter that title, and she definitely has. She doesn't agree with President Bush, the war in Iraq, the way 9/11 was/is handled, and she doesn't EVER agree with Elisabeth Hassellbeck, (a co host on "the View") Elisabeth is the "conservative" pundant on the show, and truthfully she is the only one. She is one of those people in a society that always questions what is said everywhere. She doesn't just drink the Kool-Aid, which I respect. Recently, on May 17Th she made a comment that brought her even more of a backlash. She said, and I am going to try to quote it 100% ( i might be a conservative Christian, but I believe twisting what someones says to prove a point is not right or ethical) "655,000 Iraqi civilians have died, who are the terrorists?" (posed the question to EH) Then the media picked it up, and spun it. "They" claimed that Rosie said the United States Military are terrorists. I don't think that is what she was saying; instead I think she was calling the government and more exclusively the President a terrorist. Honestly, I have heard her say some things I agree with her about. Rosie has said, "I hate it when they call them a troop, it dehumanizes them; we should refer to them as soldiers." I agree; we should refer to them as humans. She has been very vocal about her disdain for the war, but I have never heard her say anything bad or negative about the subject of the troops. She, in my opinion, has said quite the contrary, "I love the American Soldiers, I want them to come home." So Wednesday there was quite a feud on the subject of the terrorist comment. Rosie, ask Elisabeth the question, "Do you, who are my friend think that I think the the troops are terrorists." Elisabeth, who usually doesn't argue, said, "It isn't my responsibility to tell people your innuendo." Elisabeth was trying to get Rosie to SAY she didn't think the soldiers were terrorist, and Rosie wanted to hear it from Elisabeth's mouth. It got very heated, and both of them were very angry. The truth is, both of them were very stubborn, and I think it is a little sad. I think their friendship is over. Rosie has made comments that offended me, like when she equated radical Muslims to radical Christians, which are really insane. Radical Christians SHOULD be instincted by love, and not motivated by hate. Christians SHOULD only hate one person/existence, satan. I understand why Rosie feels this way; I am sure she has come across alleged Christians who mock her and berate her. It is no secret she is a lesbian, and of course that puts her right smack dab in the opposition with Christians, and Christ's teachings. It is unfortunate she has come across our bad apples and I am sure that has done nothing by leave a bad taste in her mouth. I apologize, on behalf of Christians everywhere, what ought not be the way we live. Christ taught of LOVE, it is Christ's love that set each of us free. How can someone know God and be lead to God is we lead them to doubt His existence through our actions and speech. Now, what some in Rosie's circle do misinterpret are people like me, who disagree with homosexuality, BUT love people where they are in hopes and faith of seeing them move forward towards Christ. We just have to love each other, and even though Rosie doesn't really agree with anything I believe, doesn't mean she is out of the reach of God's arm. If that were true, then so are ALL of us. Peace with each other creates and environment for God's love to flow, and after all isn't that what we want? Deuces!

Vaya Con Dios

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I am sick of lemonade

You know the saying...when life hands you lemons.... You know, the one that makes you want to grab someone by the shirt and threten their exsistance. I am pretty much sick of always making lemonade. I am facing a huge decision in my life. It's HUGE! I don't know what to do, and no one wants to listen. It is okay, I know I have God, and more importantly God has me. I just am on the verge of a major life decision. I am afraid I might be a little over my head if I choose one thing, and I am afraid that I might go crazy if I choose the other. That is a little bit of a debacle. I can't make up my mind. I know it sounds crazy, but I, for the first time don't have an opinion. If you know me, then you know how rare that is.

Please pray for me. I know God has plans for me, and they are to prosper and not fail.

Vaya Con Dios

Friday, May 11, 2007

From where I sit...

Is it just me or is are the political campaigns starting really early? I am already sick of Hillary, Barak, Mitt, Rudy, McCain, Mitt, Bill, and Edwards. It is so annoying to me that these people act like they hate each other, but then after the each other. I feel like I am living in WWII, and the politicians are the Japanese. Everywhere you turn, there is bashing of the current administration. Okay, that is fine not to agree with your opponent, but no one is saying what they would do. Yes, they say they will end the war, but they don't tell you how. They waste their time telling you how great they are, but they are missing the one key that will swing my vote; what do they bring to the table, what are they good at, who do they know. I guess partly they have not said much because they are starting so early. Then Nancy Pelosi goes over to Afghanistan to influence foreign policy? I didn't know that was in her job title? Probably because it isn't. Yes, Iraq is a mess, but how do we fix it? I watch the news and see how much trouble there is over there and I think....America has crimes too. Just today a mother and father were arrested for putting their child in a dumpster with their drugs. I am sure there was a murder or 30 today. So, part of me wonders if what we see on the TV is a reflection of this country or if it really is different. Troops are dyeing and that is a horrible tragedy but don't people get murdered here for shoes? Aren't their mass murders here? I just think we only get to see what people want us to see. I think stories and accounts of things are edited to meat someones agenda. CNN says one thing and Fox News says another. My question is..what is the complete truth? People say Fox makes up news. People say CNN and MSNBC are liberally biased. It has become so hard to tell. Then others say, bring the troops home, but they don't say how to keep Iraq from falling into the wrong hands. People say stay the course but they don't see how much money it is taking to fight this war. War causes problems, didn't we know that going in? Innocent people die, didn't we know that going in? The troop death toll is over 3,000 now; it is sad that 3.000+ families will have one less person for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Sunday dinner. Some say President Bush lied to get into this war, and he says the intelligence of many countries including America showed otherwise. I don't know a lot about all the going's on in Iraq at the time we invaded, but I do know that Saddam Hussein was a crazy, mentally deranged, dictator that lived the life of privilege while the people in his country lived in squallier. He ate what he wanted while other starved in the streets. I am beginning to HATE politics. We can blame it on global warming, the President, Republicans, Democrats, Red, Blue, Rosie O'Donnell, Rush Limbaugh....but the TRUTH is.....Politics are ruining America.

Vaya Con Dios

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Rainy days and mondays.....

Always get me down! Okay people...I am feeling a little down! I suppose I shouldn't put exclamation points at the end of my sentences. I really don't know what is going on...I am just in the funk. I suppose it has to do with my job. I do love it, but an opportunity has come up and I am super interested, and I would triple love to move up in the organization. I don't know, I am praying about isn't an easy decision. My past experience with moving for my company....not so good.....not so good AT all. It was the toughest time of my life. I grew I suppose, but I would rather do that in the confines of a place where I feel at least a little bit comfortable. I am sure that is why God actually moved me there, because I couldn't learn those lessons in the Rilla. I don't know. Clovis was not an easy pill to swallow, but I survived it and I guess I am better for it. Does anyone know what I am going through? Let me know how you did what you did.

Vaya Con Dios


Friday, May 04, 2007

So you want to work for a non-profit?

I am fortune to be doing a job that I absolutely love. I work for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. People say rarely do you get the job you want right out of college, or as young as I am. Well, I always say to those people; I didn't know this is what I wanted to do. I thought to work for a non-profit you just had to accept that you were going to work for peas and carrots, meaning for not much. While, I am not a millionaire, I make better money than I did in my former career. There is tons of room for growth and development; and what I love about MDA is that you make your own career path. You develop a program and you do it well, you can really do anything. There are a lot of perks doing what I do. I can lay my head on my pillow at night and know that I made a difference in the lives of people we serve. That is better than any retirement package you can get, and we have those too!
The non-profit world is very different that the for profit world. We are relationship oriented and we love EVERYONE. I love the thrill of know the next person you shake hands with could be your next major sponsor. Innovating is my goal, and making programs that raise tons of money, and the event brings on more sponsors, is my goal. You just cannot ever let yourself get comfortable. You have to get to the point where you integrate the organization into your daily life. I am MDA's representative at all times. That isn't always easy when the guy in the Hummer H3 pulls out in front of you, but I remind myself that not only might he be the next big sponsor, BUT also I am a representative of Christ. So, it isn't always easy being able to be seen, but it is worth it when you get to hand out medical equipment to those who need it, or you get to share your faith to someone who wonders what you are reading while you sip on the latest brew at Starbucks. I must admit, it is tougher than I thought it would be. People like to get you to show you your bad side. I do have one, and I have a little bit of a temper, and I do like to go out with my friends. It is the price you pay; it is part of the job. I love it. That doesn't mean I always love my job, there are times when I hate it, or think I wish I had another job. Then I talk to one of our clients, or worse one of them passes away, and I think to myself.........what do I have to complain about? NOTHING!!!!!

Vaya Con Dios


Thursday, April 26, 2007


Okay, I am going to admit something that may or may not suprise you....I love Joni Mitchell! I am not kidding. She has a way of just writing songs that are amazing....I love them. It is funny, I well not really, but I listen to her while the world is in turmoil. The VT slayings really hit a nerve for me. I am not sure why, except that I am close to the ages of some of the students...I am just our of college for 4 years, this year. Anyways, I think it is even a little bit more weird for me, and anyone I went to high school with. Columbine, was my senior year in high school, it was tough, but I shrugged and moved on. I can't believe the niavity that I had then. It is so weird, that didn't effect me, until really now. When you are in high school, you think, and you are wrong, that you know everything. You don't, you won't, and can't. I still dont' think I know anything. Sure, I went to college and got my education, but that doesn't a genious make. Now, I see, what I didn't see in high school, how close the tradgedy is to you. VT, although it is thousands of miles away, really isn't all that too far from me in the scope of things. I am not scared, and I don't walk around afraid of this happening in my home town, even though in the reality of things, it could. I have peace, if I go, I know where I am headed, and I won't be mad. As I watched the media, pimp out the students like they were ten dollar hookers, I thought to myself: I am so glad I didn't go into journalism. I am not sure, even though I was recieving a paycheck from them, I could stand in front of the lights, camera, and the glitz of it all, and shove a microphone in the face of students, who in their shocked comatosed states, blurted out statements so that the adoring audience could here my cute commentary about how tradegic this all is. I can't believe it, I can imagine it, I am so glad I am where I am. I watched in horror as NBC, in all their absolute obsurdity, released the manafesto of the killer. I griped my chair, and I and yelled at myu television set: "Don't you get it...idiots, this is what he wanted. We wanted the publicity, and you, who are trying to make a buck on the backs of 32 dead people, don't care.!" I was so upset, and couldn't stop my mind from wondering about who would copy this, and how it would be carried out. The situation was picture-perfect for a someone to take the bait and copy the VT killer. Please pray for God to foil that plan! We can't do it, if we dig in. Anyways, I just thought I would give you a little bit of what's on my heart. Here are some lyrics of Joni's I love here.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Turning and turning
Within the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
Things fall apart
The center cannot hold
And a blood dimmed tide
Is loosed upon the world

Nothing is sacred
The ceremony sinks
Innocence is drowned
In anarchy
The best lack conviction
Given some time to think
And the worst are full of passion
Without mercy

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And the wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born

Hoping and hoping
As if by my weak faith
The spirit of this world
Would heal and rise
Vast are the shadows
That straddle and strafe
And struggle in the darkness
Troubling my eyes

Shaped like a lion
It has the head of a man
With a gaze as blank
And pitiless as the sun
And it's moving its slow thighs
Across the desert sands
Through dark indignant
Reeling falcons

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born

Raging and raging
It rises from the deep
Opening its eyes
After twenty centuries
Vexed to a nigcfmare
Out of a stony sleep
By a rocking cradle
By the Sea of Galilee

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born
Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born

Saturday, April 14, 2007

I am writing a book here is the first chapter or so....

I remember while in the process of becoming a Christian, I was confused about who God truly was, and what He could be in my life and I say process because it took about 11 years from beginning to end. I was somewhat involved in my a youth group while I was a child. I went to all the “big” theatrical things. I went forward in the midst of the adults to lay my “true love waits” card on the alterish thing we had at the denominational church I grew up in. It is funny to me today, that I was willing to do that, I was so proud of myself that day. I thought that all my desires would be gone until it was time to get married. Man was I wrong, your desires only grow. I guess had I truly been saved after walking up to the front to “receive” Christ, if I would had been stronger; I would have been able to worship Him and sit under the shadow of His wing. I remember the youth group in two different ways, one while in church, everyone perfect and completely in a harmonious group, loving our neighbor was the right thing to do after all. Second, on Monday at school, the people that I thought I knew would not talk to me, or even act like I was alive. Now, this was the culture of the church, we all had our plastic smiles on, everyone is okay and life is so good. Our children are perfect little angels and of course they would do nothing wrong. My life was not perfect, my life was not good, in fact my life was on the verge of collapsing. I was scared everyday…
Not by things like someone murdering my family, or what was lurking outside my window, or even about the bully at school. I was scared that I was going to lose my family. You see, all of my friends were from families that had a mother and a father. They had the 2.5 kids, really they had everything, except the white picket fence, only because those were not popular back then. My dad, whom I have respect for and love today, was a raging alcoholic, and I cannot remember a time he told me he loved me. He was never there emotionally for me, and I never could get his attention. We tried bonding, and doing all the things that you are told to do when you are in therapy, but we just never could make a close bond. I know now that he couldn’t bond with me, he was in a relationship with alcohol, and it was consuming his time. He had started drinking while he was in high school; doctors say when an alcoholic starts drinking, they stop maturing at that point. He was a 15 year old trying to support his family, raise kids, and be enveloped by his addiction. Something had to give, he was being pulled in too many directions, and it was his relationship with me. I had no instruction on how to play sports, talk to girls, shave, and all those things many men take for granted. Here were no handouts, you had to fight for change and for things. My mom was a great mom, but she could not meet the need a boy needs to have a great father. I laugh now, because all along I had my heavenly Father who is truly the BEST father on earth. Think this is the time when I decided God didn’t care, well that is what I said on the outside. I always knew God was real, and more selfishly knew that hell was real. I had a hard time going to the youth group and sitting there hearing about how everyone was perfect, and everything was okay and good, and I knew what was waiting for me when I got home. I slowly and surely let go and quit, church, life, anf the pursuit of God. It was a that moment I failed the test, and I decided if I was going to sin, I was going to live it up huge.
I love how, while yet in the middle of my sin, God convicted me. I knew the things I was doing were completely wrong, and all along He left the thousands and thousands of His flock to chase me. That is unbelievable; I have a problem leaving a room full of people to check and make sure the person who just burst out in tears is alright. I am so selfish at times.

Thursday, April 05, 2007


So, this has been an intersting couple of weeks. I found out one of my friend's grandpaw died; I hate alzhiemer's! Then I found out another friend's dad died; I hate cancer! It is so sad, I can see that two of my friends are trully suffering...I hate death, but I love death. That is some double talk! I hate death because you don't get to see the person anymore. If they are Christian then you know you will someday, but that doesn't take the pain of right now away. That thought only gives you hope....hope is a powerful thing. Doesn't mean you won't grieve, and it doesn't mean life will get easier, but with hope there is a sustaining that comes. It is just like when you beleive in Christ, you are putting ALL of your hope and faith in ONE basket. You are believing in someone you have never met, and trusting that He is who is autobiography says He is. That takes hope, and faith.

Then, I found out today, that my friends Amy & Jason Archuleta....went ahead and decided that they need to get pregnant....well really Amy is pregnant....but the two shall become one. Anyways, it is a little wierd that Amy and Jason will be answering to the names, mom and dad. I am gonna have to get use to that. Have a great Easter...

Be blessed


Monday, March 26, 2007

I am horrible

It is true...I am a horrible friend, son, person. I am not fishing for you to say: "No you aren't." The truth is...I am. I am mean, cruel, rude, and at times useless. I have to say that if, and I am sure that is more like when, I was rude to you...I am sorry. When you aren't in your right mind...and when you haven't been around Christ enough, that is what happens. Bitter roots bring nothing but bitterness. That is the lesson I am learning. My good friend pointed out that my mouth is like the mouth of a sailor...I am ashamed. I am praying, and I am getting the cloak of heaviness off...and I am putting on a garment of praise. If you wouldn't mind...I would covet your prayers. How dare I cast stones! My what a praise session can do for you. God bless all you....sorry for the pain...know that HURT people HURT people!

Vaya Con Dios


Monday, March 19, 2007

5th graders are good teachers

As I was preparing to give a message to the 5th and 6th graders, I had some revelations. Here they are. The message was on "Jesus is my Healer." It love healing, and I believe Jesus left this gift in with us...through Holy Spirit. If you don't believe that.....stop reading this blog....I don't have time to explain it if you won't listen. There is a scripture in the Bible says: "by His stripes you WERE healed." (emphasis added). I remember my first week of being a Christian...I got sick. Someone said...the stripes comment. Well, that is all they said and it didn't make sense to me, I knew Jesus wasn't a zebra. As I dug a little deeper I realized it was at the Crucifixion. His back was wiped wildly with the cat of nine tails. It is an awful torture instrument that has claws on the end which dig in the skin of it victims and rips muscle, skins, and can even ruin bones. It is a horrible little instrument, that Christ endured so that we could walk in health. I love that, even though Jesus' back was probably less stripes and more just sheer muscles and blood. You can't endure 39 whips of this device and have skin left on your back. This bloody bludgeoned soul who was absolutely the most perfect person to ever walk this earth....and the healthiest, took all that so that I could obtain healing anytime a situation arises. What I love about the above scripture is the word WERE! Just as tomorrow, if I sin, I it is already forgiven because of Christ work on The Cross. That word WERE, means that if I am ill today or tomorrow, it has already been healed. I love that. In Jesus, we have a healer. We have got to get this, or who else will. I mean, I think every generation has missed it.....we cannot. We must take this and run with it, and go forth. Cheerio!

Be Blessed


Friday, March 02, 2007

Deepend, widend, dying

Do you ever feel like you are slide down a rope and the panic that it is coming to an end and you are going to fall, and fall hard? But then you reach down and you see you have 10 more feet to really stop and that is more than enough to get it done!? I sometimes feel like life is out of control and I am Alice falling down the pit only being stopped by the millions of hands that are mysteriously covering the walls of the hole. I know that sounds like I am about to tell you how depressed I am, but the truth is, I am surprisingly good. I am not going to lie, I have have a tough six months, I am not just putting on a rough-and-tough heart has been broken, and broken so bad, I truly didn't know if/when it was possible to fix. That is when I knew I was in trouble, when I started to doubt the power of God in my life. I have realized no one has a peachy life all the time, they just don't freak out which is something I think I do too much. You know I really love life, but it has been hard getting out of bed lately, or really the past few months. But God is always faithful, even when we put up a wall and say: "This is as far as you can come." I find it a funny that while I think i don't' want more intimacy with the person who knows me and my intentions better than anyone else, I keep muddling under my breath these prayers for faith, fury, protection, wisdom, and patience. That is the most ridiculous double talk, I think I have even heard myself utter. I find that once you know God, getting away from Him is the impossible part, and just at that moment of weakness, He sends someone something in your path. Not as a judgement, but rather a gentle reminder that He is there, and He is love. That is what I think I need in life. The ability to say to is okay that you are getting away from me, you know me, and you know you can't live without me. Passion is a funny thing sometimes, just then you think that you are passionate, you meet the person who is more passionate that you. You don't' always do the best thing when you are passionate about something, but you always have in mind that thing, that motivating factor, that drug, my life I have had passions, some stay long enough to see the development of something great, some of them are gone before morning dawn breaks. But all in all, I have had passion, and truly I would rather have had fleeting passion that goes through your hand like fine sand, than to never have embark on the journey of seeing your dreams come to life. Regardless of how stupid I look in my life, and if you know me, then you know I have done some dumb things quite often, I will not give up on three things.....the pursuit of life, and all that that entails such as adventures, discovering (self and environmental), painting, learning, gaining wisdom form elders, quiet embraces, long walks on the beach, happiness, confidence in extremely diverse circumstances, and most of all my pursuit of God....that is the is life; life to the there any other way to live? The second is similar to the first, and it is family. What can I say, you have got to have family. Who else would encourage you in your wildest pursuits? To me, you need those bonds. You need that part of life. God is so go to bless me with a family that, even though was not perfect, leaned on God to get it right. I say that, and I can hear people say..."my family was hell." Well, I never make excuses for my actions or my families. My parents are divorced, and my dad was a raging alcoholic most of my upbringing. Doesn't seem like a fairy tale does it? The truth is God can redeem that, and He can take that and make it good, and use it to better you and the kingdom at hand. Family stays with you through the fire and through the smoke. Does my childhood upbringing effect my behavior, feeling, actions....that is question I always get. Truly, I know it does, even today. I know my dad is never going to be the picture perfect dad. Actually that does not exist, in even the best dads. That is why God is our heavenly father, He isn't called that only because He is is in heaven. The truth is, as God wrote the Bible, He wanted us to know how much good He had for us....He wanted us to know He was/is the picture perfect father. I love that about Him, He just spills all the beans, and makes no amends for the truth. God is so cut and dry that truth is His standard, and truth is a good standard, because that means that there is no argument. The third is friends....gosh that sounds so perfect, but the truth is...I am done with playmates. I want and need friends. Those are the people that make a difference. Those are the ones that will tell are wrong, right, left, right, crazy, delusional, insane, wise, willing, and able. God send those to me. I am sick of feeling like I am in 3rd grade at recess and playing tag. I want friends that will speak into my life. God is so in control of those things.....sheesh...that is a lot to absorb. I didn't plan on this being this long, but I knew I needed to get those things off my chest. God is good

Vaya con Dios


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Wow!!!!!!! We is that!

So people say you never know the kindness of strangers....that is so true!!! I never thought our work with Ruby Tequila's would pay off as it is! I love it. Cory and Mark are so nice, and they are really with us in this fight against these neuromuscular diseases! Man, who knew. They are doing so much for us, and they love us. I am so happy to have them on board! Well, that is all for today!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

What I think about you

Well, I have met many different types of people. That is funny to me. I have had the opportunity, in my career, to meet people that make a difference in my life and the lives of others. People who really make a difference, and not just monetarily, and in ways that seem by most to be minuscule. I honestly believe everyone has their place in this world. It is funny how we see people on television and we want to be them, or we envy them because they are in the public. The truth is, if you are where you are suppose to be, that is all God requires of us. The person who is suppose to teach 1st grade Sunday School, and faithfully does it, is better off than that person who stands in front of thousands and is actually called to be a entrepreneur. It seems like we get all caught up about being in front of the largest audience, when we are not capable of handling that or being able to keep up. There is, in my opinion, nothing more sad than a square peg trying to be round. I mean it is like David right before he goes to kill Goliath, he is offered others armor. It is too big...Of course it was, it wasn't his. Had he continued in the wrong armor, the armor would have just gotten in the way and possibly could have cost him his life. I think that is the best piece of advice I have ever gotten. BE yourself, if you are called to be a manager at MC Donald's, be a millionaire, be a school teacher, be a M.D, be a Veterinarian, be a construction worker, do it....and do it with excellence!

I must admit I get caught up in that superficial, hollywoodian, who has what mentality. I am getting comfortable be who I am! Sometimes, I find myself wanting what others have. I am not a 100% sure how you get over that. I know it has something to do on how well you know who you are in Christ. Once you know who you are in Him, then there really is nothing that can get get you down and out. I think it is interesting that while people think they know who they are, they know nothing of why they were created, and to me that is the most important questions to answered!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Jesus Is Funny

I come to that conclusion because I am funny. If I am made in His image, then it only stands to reason that He is funny. I like Jesus, actually, I love. He is so funny, though, let me break it down. He inventing the duck-billed platypus....have you ever seen pictures of it, it is very funny. He also invented Shih Tzu's a very funny looking dog. I think He wanted us to laugh so much that He even invented Toupees.
He so loves us and isn't part of love laughter. Isn't more fun to laugh with your family than to laugh with strangers? I love when my family is together because I am guaranteed a six pack from laughing (if you have seen me lately then you know I have not been around my family.....I am a registered fatty). My granddad has this deep belly laugh followed by the occasional snort, which sends me into an even deeper realm of laughing. I think laughing is a remedy to what ales a lot of the folks on the earth. I think we should bottle it and prescribe it to those around us.
Have you ever studied people's laughs? I love to when someone is just out and out laughing, It makes my day, and I can't help but crack a smile. I am fairly sure but have no research to back it up, that laughter is addicted. I mean I have been in some pretty rotten moods and someone around me laugh uncontrollably, and I find myself letting go of what is keeping my joy hostage, and screaming out a laugh, so good and deep in my spirit that I completely forget that I, two minutes ago, had some sort of sorrow.
Now, joy and laughter are two different things. Joy is an inner peace that is always with you through thick and thin. Much like a true friend, you have had joy in anything, it is like the love of God, unconditional. Happy is part of joy but happy depends on an emotion to be present. You need happiness, but sometimes happiness is not always available. Like going to Starbucks and finding the are out of blueberry scones....EEK! Joy is what motivates you to love, live, laugh, and have your being. Also, Joy is given by God, if you don't know Him then you have a counterfeit Joy. The counterfeit is not worthy of even being called "joy",; we should come up with some other word, like "foy" or "fake joy". I know that may sound silly, but it is the truth.
So, next time you find yourself flopped over the backside of a chair uncontrollably laughing, and while those tears are falling from your eyes, because the ecstasy of the moment is too much for your emotions and will to take in....examine the situation, is it joy or happiness........

Peace, blessings, and of course Vaya Con Dios!