Friday, March 17, 2017

Some self-reflection.

"You just thrive on controversy." There it was for all to see, a comment someone made in a Facebook post I had made.  Ugh.  Yeah, it hit like a ton of bricks. That's a not an enduring image. Thoughts started to emerge.  "Do I come across that way?" "IS that who I am?" "Why do I even care?"

I mean, it was a 20-year-old kid who doesn't really know how the world works, but still, it was worthy of some reflection.  I have seen so often in my life that sometimes God uses little things, people you're not close to, or situation to show you something.  I really felt like this was one of those moments, mostly because how deep it cut and how meaningless it should have been.

I began to think if I thrive in controversy, then I want there to be controversy.  I want the world around me to be full of craziness and unrest.  If I wanted that then I would want to see nothing resolved and no one thriving.

Well, that couldn't be further from the truth.  I love when other people succeed, and when there is peace.  I hate the current climate of our nation. I hate the backbiting and naysaying.  I loathe it.  I like it when we all get along.  I love the idea of a utopian society.  I love the idea of disagreements that don't break down others.

I do, however, like for people to understand another perspective.  Like seeing that people who live in poverty might see the world different than a middle-class person.  How someone who is an African-American might have a differing opinion than his/her white or Hispanic counterparts.  I do like that we live in a time and place that there are voices who have not been heard, are now being heard loud and clear.  I love to stop the fast-paced world we live in for a few minutes to share some of the motivations behind behaviors.

I am so glad that was said to me.  I like stopping and checking one's self to see that perhaps the method is sending the wrong message because in reality perception is reality.  I never want to be perceived as one who thrives, loves, or beholds to controversy.  I don't want to be known as someone who will investigate, find, or advocate to see the things from alternative perspectives.  Because, at the end of the day, if we do not try to find out other's motivations, then we could be judging other without ever really knowing why they believe as they do.

I little self-reflection into your own motivations is uncomfortable but necessary.

No comments: