It's not about downtown

If you live in Amarillo, it's been quite a show at the City Council lately.  I mean, it's like watching the Real Housewives of Amarillo.  The cat fights, backbiting, name-calling, pandering, and puppetry has just gotten ridiculous.

The storm started as the plans for the catalyst projects to create a place to go and things to do in Amarillo.  Everything was going great, it's been over 10 years of planning until the news of a ballpark was unveiled.  Actually, it's being called an MPEV (Multi-Purpose Event Venue).  It is so needed in our community.  The critics claim it's just a ballpark... It's more.  The other two projects are a convention hotel and a parking garage.  The convention hotel is a much-needed space.  There is no facility in Amarillo to have a large (200+ people) convention. There is also nothing for them to do, in the off chance that someone wants to host a large convention with crazy transportation requirements, once they get here.  It has all just been a big mess, and very divisive,

Both sides of the issue point to other with accusations of being owned by donors and those that stand to make money on the downtown development.  Personally, I think the new councilmen are owned.  And I will tell you why.

What I am about to say might sound a little conspiracy theory-esque, but please know I do not subscribe that way of thinking.

But, mark these words:  I just observed some things, heard some things, and see who the puppeteers are and what their goals are.

(1) The MPEV is a vehicle to a large goal.  The goals are to stir up division and strife within the citizens of Amarillo.  ( I think it's safe to say that's working.  I have never seen people in Amarillo be so mean to each other)

(2) Perpetuate the strife.  You will see the strife and divisiveness continue.  Downtown revitalization is the vehicle.

(3) A new leader will be platformed.  One of the newly elected city officials will become the new mega-star and will run in the next mayoral election.  I bet you can guess who.  Watch and see how 2 of the new councilmen are creating antics while the other has public decorum (at least publically).  Research who was new candidate's campaign staff.

(4) Councilman becomes mayor.  This is where the plan is a gamble.  But if they platform and discontentment grows this is the next step.

(5) The push for single-member districts.  This is the final goal. I am sure you are asking why?  How does this benefit them?  It doesn't if you look at it with rationale.  Progress is never made or wielded when you divide the power.  Look at Congress.  The people that want single-member districts are behind the new councilmen. The main reason is power.  Never underestimate the power of bitter loser.

Yes it's a big plan, and yes I could be wrong, but look into this stuff.  

bread is essential

In my work, I am always seeing the world through two different channels of help.  I see the most well intentions folks who are really just wanting to make sure the crowd is taken care of with their help. A group of concerned citizens who are part of something larger than themselves. It's always intriguing to see even in the smallest towns in the Texas Panhandle. It's a vantage point where I can see the very best of people.  It feels like such an honor to see these things.

I was visiting a pantry and I was talking with the director and he shared with me that they have been doing this for over 35 years.  I asked what is the biggest misconception people have about what you do?  He immediately went into a story about how when he first started he would get so mad because there were people who would get help and not say thank you.  He said, "If I was in their shoes I know I would say thank you to those helping me."  I was puzzled and it must have registered with him because he just blurted out,  "No, I realized I had just put the wrong expectation on them."  He explained that after a while the people would come back and they ones who didn't say thank you, or seem grateful, would begin to make sure they were heard.  They would go to every volunteer and thank them personally.

He realized just what was happening.  When they had first come to the pantry they were in survival mode.  They were so desperate to meet the needs of their families that they could only just do that. Their needs had put blinders on them. They were obviously grateful, but they were just so focused. Later, as their emergency situation became less desperate they could see things they were blinded to earlier.

How many times have we helped someone and got offended because they didn't seem grateful enough?  I know I have, and after hearing this perspective it's majorly shifted my thoughts.  When you help, just do that.... HELP. If you think the person is ungrateful, and you get offended I think we miss something.  I think we should question our motives.  There are people so desperate that they can't see anything but surviving.

There is a great quote from Gandhi that has always made me think, "There are some people in this world that are so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."

If we meet people's physical needs, it opens them up to spiritual ones.  I think in the arc of life, invested time after time in others is befitting our intentions.

Your Voice, Your Choice

I read an article the other day.  It was a pretty devastating look at Texas' voter turnout. (http://www.dailytexanonline.com/news/2013/06/10/texas-voter-turnout-lowest-in-nation)

Yeah, this is my, you better vote, blog.

Texas is dead last in voter turnout.  Actually we are 51st.  How is this possible? Well, EVEN Puerto Rico votes better than us.  This is the one and only thing I HATE about Texas. It is actually embarrassing when you think about what 26 million people could accomplish if all of them voted.

I know what you're thinking.... But Broc, it's not even a Presidential election year.  You are right, but you need to understand that this is the biggest swing in Texas politics in 14 years.  Rick Perry has been Governor since 2000.  The Governor appoints state agencies.  If I were a teacher I'd be sure to vote because the Governor will appoint the head of the TEA.  With a new Governor, even if it's a Republican, there will be a new head appointed.  Even if the Republicans keep the Governors seat there will be many changes to the state.

Also, David Dewhurst has been Lieutenant Governor since 2013.  These are the two top Texas elected officials and they've been the same for over a decade.   This shift will affect all aspects of the politics of Texas.  It is my belief, that state politicians affect you more than federal ones do.  Yes, the Federal government makes laws but the state politicians interpret how those laws affect you.

You can see that voting this year has consequences.

If we don't vote we are giving our voice, our say, our rights, to someone else.  I love watching the women in Iraq vote. They know how important and significant it is because they know what it's like not to have the right.  We have the right, YET, are just too lazy to do so.

VOTE!

A Year of Claire-ity

I am sitting in our living room reminiscing with my wife, Kaylee, about the past year.  What a year. Why? Because this is the year that we became parents to the most amazing little girl who stole our hearts, named Claire Jewel.

I will be honest, I have always been fearful of being a parent.  I think it comes from my childhood and dysfunction I grew up in. I knew too much how the families can affect children, and especially parents to children.  Fear gripped me when Kaylee came bouncing down the hall to tell me we were pregnant with Claire.  Fear paralyzed me, it gripped me, it had me in it's vice.

Then I decide to just have faith.  Yes, there are times when I worry about things, like  how I respond to my sweet little girl.  I have fear that I will become like my past.  Then I let it go.  It's not easy, but faith never is.

By the time Claire was set to be born, I had started to see that just because I had known a way it didn't mean it was the only way it had to be. I can honestly say the fear of the past was lifted off of me.  I really enjoyed the last few minutes of our family being just the two of us.  

Then Claire was here.  She was screaming at the top of her lungs while enduring the Apgar tests. Not really knowing what to do, I just started talking to her.  "Hey, little girl, you're okay." BOOM, she stopped crying and looked over at me.  I turned to tell Kaylee just how precious she was.  She screamed louder than before. I turned and said, "Hey sweetheart, you are okay,"  She stopped crying and turned her head towards me.  She knew my voice and it brought her peace.  I felt the tear roll down my cheek.  This was surely God's way of showing me everything was going to be alright. She was comforted by my speech.  The world stopped and at the moment she had me wrapped around her little fingers.

The first two weeks of her life were, well, the hardest thing I have ever endured. Anxiety filled my every minute.  I mean between the new schedule, the amount of concern over pooping or not pooping, is she getting enough milk when nursing, is she staying awake while nursing, is she crying because she's hungry, is she crying because she's in pain, is it gas, are we missing something, is she at her birth weight, as she lost weight, and all those terrifying things .  I had taken off work for two weeks so I could "help" Kaylee.  I am pretty sure other than waking for a few minutes during late night feedings to talk to her, I wasn't much help.  Actually, I felt helpless. I couldn't do anything than change a diaper, a lot of the responsibility was squarely on Kaylee's shoulders.  She accepted the challenge and did so amazing.  I cannot express how proud I am of Kaylee and how great of a mother she is.  She really earned her cape as superwomen.
 
We fell in love with her. Although, all she did was eat, poop, and cry, we knew we had something special.  That something grew and grew.  She smiled at us, and acknowledged us, and was comforted by us.  This year I learned a lot about why people do this parenting thing.  I also learned a lot about myself.  Kaylee and I's daily conversation now include dialogue about poop and if Claire has had enough of them for the day. We talk an awfully lot about poop.  Really, is rather bazaar how much of our talk is about poop.

I learned also why mommy blogs are so popular and why they are so dangerous.  Usually a mom "discovers" that she's the great mom since Mary herself and they espouses her views on a blog, and in-so-doing effectively making all other mothers feel inadequate Also there are a lot of moms who are judgmental.  "You aren't breastfeeding?"  Is the new,  "You are a terrible mom."  The mommy shaming is ridiculous, and mothers should calm down and realize that there is not just one way to raise a child.   It's like no one can do anything right.  This is the only negative that I can recount from the year.

Sitting up, crawling, and then walking.  These three phases should come with an instruction manual.  I mean, it's like the craziest time, but fun all at the same time.  Then little Claire said, "dada." I thought, if she only knew how much power she had when she says that, she could take over the world, well maybe just get anything she ever wanted from me.

I can't tell you how much I love being her dad. It's just the best.  The first year didn't lack in troubles but it never lacked in love.  I realized throughout the entire process that all the fears I had were really unfounded, and that I love this little girl named Claire like none other! And my wife is literally superwomen. Life. Is. Good.

There is a song  that is a Schoolhouse Rocks song, that I have always loved. I will leave you with it.   Three oh, it's the magic number... A man and women had a little baby, there is three in the family, and it's the magic number.    

#ClaireMusings: Why I am not teaching my daughter "modest is hottest"

Ten months or so ago I became a father to a precious little girl. Her name is Claire Jewel, and she's been getting me to thinking a lot.  I have started to see the world in a very different way than I think I did before she was born.  It's just some of what churches and Christian based organizations are teaching girls seems to be quite flawed.  When I say the Church, I am not talking about any one church but Christian culture in America.

One of those things is teaching our daughters that "Modest is Hottest." Looking at that, it looks like a great statement, and that we should teach our daughters that being modest is appropriate, but that's not what this is saying. This is not the purpose of this "cute" little rhyme in my opinion.

We live in a very sexualized world.  Women and girls face a world where their worth is put into how "pretty" "beautiful" "sexy" the package is, and how they get what they want based on looks and appearance. We live in a culture that says if a women isn't pretty, by a photoshopped standard in the latest women's magazine or fashion brand's latest advertising,  then she isn't valuable, and even farther, she isn't worth our time.

See I believe that the teaching that modest is hottest came from a very genuinely good place.  I can see someone using the culture of the world to sell modesty to little girls who are exposed to what the world is doing to women through images of perfection.  I can see it's origins.  I can see a counter-culture trying to make sense of the current culture.

My beef with modest is hottest is that it's STILL sexualizing women!  It says, you still need to be hot, but modest at the same time. I believe that the teaching modesty is important, but based on teaching girls the VALUE of themselves.  I think my daughter is valuable because she is, not because of what she looks like.  When you say modest is hottest it's cheapening the worth of her, her intelligence, her abilities, and her as a human.

You shouldn't fight fire with fire.  You should use the current culture as an example but not in agreement.  My daughter is valuable, not because of what she looks like, but because she was created by a God full of love! We may not have control over how the world works or how it portrays women and girls, but we do have the ability to provide truth in the midst of chaos.  We have to teach our daughters from as early as possible to value themselves and to be examples; while addressing and exposing what's going on around them at the same time.

I Volunteered in the Kids Cafe Kitchen

I walked into the place where all the culinary magic happens one Wednesday afternoon.  The Kids Cafe is our response to the child hunger epidemic.  Every day Kids Cafe sends out 1,000 meals to various locations throughout Amarillo.  The program is in its 11th year and is just one of the best things around!

Recently, the Kids Cafe kitchen needed some help from staff members because the summer meal program really has a hectic schedule.  They are up serving breakfast at 5:30 am and finish dinner service around 5:30 pm.  Oh, and on top of that crazy schedule, they are preparing to move into their new kitchen that’s opening in September.  Needless to say, this has been quite the busy summer for the staff. 

I walked in and started by prepping the next day’s meals.  I sliced oranges, and prepped rice and the list went on and on.  There is really only one prep station so you must clean up immediately to start the next phase.  Really only one person can prep at a time because the quarters are so close together.  This is less efficient and is a source of stress when you’re on the deadlines the Kids Cafe must meet every day. 

Then I began to wash dishes.  The sink is on one side and the garbage disposal is on the other.  I found myself walking back and forth a lot, and it seemed a little bit cumbersome to me.  Leigh, the Kids Cafe Director, showed me how the three compartment sink worked and more importantly how it didn't work.  I asked about the divided sink situation and she smiled a big smile and said, “Oh, it’s tough, but only until September.”  Leigh has been at the Food Bank for 10 years and has had the fortune or misfortune of working in 6 different kitchens in her tenure.  She has a book of thoughts where she’s recorded her wish list of things for the new kitchen.  She knows from experience just what is needed to make the Kids Cafe successful.  As we prepped more of the meals for the next day, Leigh kept pointing out how it will be different in the new kitchen.   “See how we are sharing space as I prep the entree and you’re getting the rolls together, “Leigh said. “In the new kitchen we will have more than one space to do this.”

After we prepped more I began putting away dried dishes.  I had to roll the cambros out of the way first.  These are huge thermal storage units on carts that are used to keep the meal components hot or cold while in route to the serving location.  Leigh again laughed at me as I fumbled around acting as if I knew what I was doing.  “That will be different in the new kitchen too, “Leigh said. “We will have space to line these around the wall, and they would not need to be in the middle of the room.”

I realized at that moment that we needed the new kitchen, not just to increase meals but to make the important work of the program possible.  Needless to say, when the new kitchen opens I will have insight into just how monumental this is to the staff.  

Two Friends Diverged and I offered to Help

Working at the Food Bank is such a great eye opener on what’s really happening underneath all the hub-bub and political wrangling that can so often isolate us.  I see and hear all the time things that challenge my beliefs dear to my heart.  I also get to see a lot of the great organizations and programs that truly do help people make ends meet.  When I hear that programs are rampant with fraud, I wish people would look past the lens of what’s broadcast to see people who really struggle. 

Because of what I do, I have friends and others who reach out to me on a regular basis to see where they can go for help.  I can also spot situations where I know there is a need for help.  Recently, a friend of mine, who I’ll call Jack, went through a very unusual set of circumstances that resulted in him being a single dad of 4 kids.  I also have another friend who was extremely injured had not been able to work for 2 years.  We’ll call him Matt.  I could see that both of my friends needed help, and fortunately, I knew just what they needed. 

I reached out to Jack and had a conversation about getting SNAP and we talked about how it could help him with his newly found life.  I explained that if he came to our offices we would be able to get him the application and get it submitted.  I sensed he felt ashamed as he immediately got a little defensive.  Luckily, I was anticipating this.  My response was, these programs exist to help people; they are a safety net for your family. I am not going to tell anyone, but I know you need help and I can help you.  His response was, “I do not need the help; it’s for other people that actually need it.” I understood and told him to call me when and if he felt like he needed the help.  Meanwhile, I’ve been watching him struggle and struggle.  I know there will be some people who will read this and think it’s good for him to have to struggle.  I agree that working is important, but I also know there are 4 kids who need their only parent to be present. 

There I was sitting at my desk typing out a press release when my office phone rang I answered it, and the caller said, “Broc, it's Matt, how are you today?”  I was so happy to hear his voice.  He had just moved back to town and I was happy to actually be hearing his voice.  We talked about his accident, and I told him we have been praying for him for over a year.  He had endured countless surgeries and was in constant excruciating pain.  We talked and caught up about our lives.  Then, I started to sense there was some urgency in his call to me.  I stopped the small talk and pleasantries and started in on options to help his family.  His condition required constant care, and because of this, his wife was unable to work.  He told me the program he was utilizing -- SNAP.  He said, “We get about $1.32 per meal which, we both know is impossible. But, we’ve been able to make it work with the small amount of work my wife has been able to do,” he said.   “But this month, wow, I can’t even begin to tell you about this month.”  They had a car in need of repairs and that took all the money they had plus some credit card charges.  He explained that they had made it possible to get food for their young son, but that he and his wife hadn’t eaten in days.  My heart sank as I thought, “How could a friend of mine be hungry?”  I had just been living my life, and while I am very sensitive to the needs of others, another perk of the job, I had totally spaced and now one of my friends was hungry.  I got on the phone to call a couple agencies and managed to get him and his wife some food.  I also gave him a list of other agencies.  We talked about their family qualifying for WIC, and he said he felt bad about applying.  I stopped him right in his tracks and said, “Listen to yourself, Matt. You’re calling me because you need help.  Accept it.” I could hear him tearing up on the line, and he admitted his excuse was not at all valid.  In the end, he did apply and got approved. 

Sometimes, it’s more about swallowing your pride and realizing that you need help.  Help is a temporary thing, and I believe and know that help can make the difference in others’ lives.  Another takeaway, listen to what’s actually being said by those around you.  Be sensitive to help others, and don’t judge the circumstances. Just help!

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” – Mother Teresa