Christmas....

So, it was the first Christmas without my granddad.  I didn't like it.  I will just say that first.  As I woke up on Christmas morning and got dressed to go to my aunts house, I couldn't help but think about how hard this was going to be.  I got to my aunt's and as we started to prepare breakfast, my aunt started crying which lead to me crying.  As I set there I kept hoping to hear his huge laugh and loud voice while he came in the the garage door.  I kept thinking as we opened gifts there would be a surprise gift that was huge and he was waiting in the other room to bring it in.  I just kept thinking, where is his laughs.  Of course none of that happened.  

Nothing .... Not one thing.....  It was official.  It for the first time had become the sad reality of my life.  He is gone.  There would be no more large laughs, horse bites, jokes, and more importantly no more time to spend with him.  Christmas with my whole family is such a big deal to everyone; well everyone but me.  BUT, this year, Christmas with the whole family meant much more than I think I could ever express.  No, this was not a "fun" Christmas, or even a "good" Christmas, but it was a Christmas.  The celebration of Christ's birth.  Thank God that's what it's all about.    

I am sad.  I am sure he isn't, and that's what gives me comfort.  

-b